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Personal | January 8, 2014

What I See in the Mirror

What do you see when you look at this picture?

You probably see my neon shirt (WOW, that’s really bright!), maybe you see two cute boys, maybe you notice the gold hoops that I’m wearing, even on the beach (man she wears those a lot) or maybe you just see a generic snapshot of a family vacation. But, do you know what I see? Myself (so annoying, btw) and a hollow chest above my boob on the (your) right where I’m missing a pectoral muscle, and a boob that looks higher on the (your) left. For more than half my life I had one boob. I was born with a birth defect called Poland’s Syndrome. It effects one side of your body and is characterized by a missing pectoral muscle, as well as webbed hands and feet for some. In my case, a boob on one side and no boob on the other. Yeah, that was fun, let me tell you. So, I pretty much hated everything that involved a swim suit -ha! My parent’s, after my request, had it “fixed” when I was 20. Since then, I’ve slowly become more and more comfortable with it. In fact, if I’ve talked to you for longer than about five minutes, I’ve probably told you my story -ha! Now you know why I started crying when I saw this bird while lounging poolside on my honeymoon.

I believe we are all here to tell our stories, and I’m telling you this one for a reason. I’d like to start sharing different tips, but first, I needed you guys to know that I’m not without insecurities. We ALL have them and this isn’t my only one. When I was growing up, I wore a jelly on one side and, while I still wore shirts that fit, I did walk a little hunched over and would avoid pools, etc. But, once they were fixed, I did feel a boost of confidence. Even my best friend told me she felt like I walked around with my chin held a little higher. But now I have to dress my body with a size 32 DDD chest without looking like my chest over takes me. Why so big? Well, when you’re a C on one side and pretty much nothing on the other, they have to put implants on both sides so they look the same. I’d like to think that you are saying, “no way she can be a 32DDD”, because that means I am dressing my “challenge issue” well. I’m owning the one boob for what it is and now the two for what they are. So, what do you see when you look at pictures of yourself or in the mirror? We are ALL so critical of ourselves. Sometimes when I’m with a client and they tell me their issue, I have to ask them to repeat themselves because I just don’t see it, but they do and I get that. But, I’m asking you (just like I ask my clients) to be ok with your butt, your hips, your arms, your stomach, your cellulite, your thighs, your ankles, your feet, etc. I’m asking you this with love and empathy and I want you to know that I’m right there with you. We’ve all got our insecurities and we will collectively be working on them, but for now let’s just own them and dress them and try our very hardest to let them go.

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