I ran across this window while on vacation, and I had this knee jerk reaction where I thought, “well, that’s the quickest way to be depressed”. I know because I lived this way for awhile. It was all about me. I think it was a response to having zero time to myself when my kids were young. Or maybe it was what I thought would make me happy because that’s what I saw on social media and advertisements- everyone happy, living their best lives by traveling, eating and wearing amazing outfits. Or maybe I’m just coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs- ha!
This was how I was- I don’t feel happy today, I don’t feel fulfilled, why am I always in the long line, I shouldn’t have said that, I made a mistake …again, did I say the right thing, did I do the right thing, is this what I should be doing with my life, why am I so anxious, why am I so worried, why am I not happy…etc.
For awhile, I thought I was just being self-aware and conscientious of others, but then I learned this thinking can actually be a form of pride. After all, being a martyr and being a victim (both of which I was obviously caught up in) are focused on self, even if it isn’t about how great I am. Instead, it was about how everything and everyone was affecting me (gosh, I sound like a brat. Ha!) Anyway, that self-absorbed thinking led me on a downward spiral, and I wish I could say that it doesn’t happen to me anymore, but I’d be lying.
But, here’s what I’ve learned:
1. I try to remember that God is in control of everything. Every single word, gesture and mistake made can be used for His good. My little ol’ mistakes in what I say or do can still be used in His plan. After all, he is the ultimate perfecter of all things. Plus, we are not perfect people, and when you think about yourself and your imperfections all the time, it is pretty depressing.
2. Self-care and thinking about one’s self are very different. The former isn’t focusing on myself as much as it is taking care of myself so I can get beyond myself! If I haven’t slept, there is no way I can stop my brain from spinning -ha!
3. It’s ok to not be happy all the time. This world is hard, and this life is hard. I was made with a range of emotions for a reason. Even though I may see people look constantly happy on social media, I remind myself that these are just the highlights… just like my Instagram is just the highlights! I mean, does anyone really want to see my son’s throw up all over his bedroom? Ha! Oh, and Jesus wept! He wasn’t happy constantly, and he was perfect!
4. I remind myself that this life in not about me (DUH! – Oh gosh, did I really just admit that I have to tell myself this sometimes?!). It’s about loving God and loving others. The quickest way to happiness is to serve and love others. Get busy loving or doing something good for others.
So all that to say, in the end, it is…NOT all about me.
God is big and mighty, and he’s in control… not me! I can move past me and let him be GOD! The faster I can remember this and wholly own this, the better off I’ll be!
Amen. Ty for sharing…and reminding…and encouraging…
Thank you for your encouraging comment. This post was hard to put out there for some reason, so your comment is much appreciated!
Thank you for this post…all things I need to remember & live by!
Really loved this post. Thanks for the reminder. God is good!
This post is so true and often difficult to speak of. Thank you for the strength to verbally speak of or Lord and what He faced, even being perfect! Puts it in much needed perspective! Thank you!
Wonderful post!!! Needed to hear this today for sure. Thank you!!
loved this – THANK YOU!
Hey Carly! I met you at Houstons last month. I just told you at that time that I love your blog but I wanted to share the huge impact you are making! This post is an example of how God uses your authenticity and wisdom to encourage others. Not only do you have a great eye for fashion and decor but wonderful insight.
I went through some thing very similar when my two oldest boys were young. I love reading your blog to get reminded on how to have a healthy perspective.
PS- My husband is a Christian speaker and has spoken on some of the topics you have shared on your blog. If I think of one that applies I can send it your way.
Hi Kathryn! I loved meeting you and your husband at Houston’s! Y’all were so cute! Thank you for introducing yourself! I would love for you to send me your husband’s talk! Thank you!
THIS is why you are important to me. Thank you for inspiring me to look my best on the outside and the inside! We have never met but I wish we could! When I get an email about a new post from you, it’s a treat and I always look forward to it.
Well done!! It’s so nice to be reminded. Thank you!!
AMEN. I especially resonated with your point about not being happy all the time. My family is in a weird season right now and I’m okay with it. Happiness comes and goes in it but what remains is PEACE. And I’ll take peace (even in a storm) over happy any day.
I love reading your posts. Love where your heart is!
Amen and AMEN. This was such a wonderful reminder of turning the focus back on the right thing ~ God, faith and doing good in His name for others. Thank you!
Awesome post! It is very true! Help others get what they want you will get double in return!
I might need to read this every morning. 🙂 Well said!!!
Ha! Me, too.
Thank you for this post. I really needed to read this today. Going through a tough period right now and I needed a reminder.
Thank you for your comment!
Hi Carly! Sending a most heartfelt and sincere thank you for this post. So well said! I’m a long time follower and first time commenter. I’m a mess when it comes to putting together an outfit and you are such a sweet blessing with your caring spirit and fun ideas. You look amazing in everything! May God continue to bless you and your beautiful family. Thank you again for giving Him the glory and reminding us that it’s about loving Him and loving others. You are a great example of that.
Hi Connie, Thank you for your sweet comment. Your encouraging words means so much to me! Comment more -ha!
Carly! Loved this post! Even “Jesus wept”….. I’ve never thought of it like that before. Thank you for your honesty, humility, empathy and insight in reminding us that it certainly isn’t all about us.
Jesus, take the wheel! And do not, under any circumstances, let me take it back even when I butt my big nose into your business and your awesome plans for my life. I think you got this 😇
Amen! Amen! I’d like to take credit for the “Jesus wept…”, but it can from my friend. I told her that someday I hoped to be strong enough in my faith that I wouldn’t be so emotional. (I envisioned myself as a peaceful monk or something.)She was all, “Carly, Jesus had emotions! He wept!”
Thank you. I needed this so much this week.