When my mom passed away, there were many well meaning people who offered me solace by saying, “it’s all in God’s plan”. While I believe this to be true, if you’ve ever lost a loved one or experienced something that makes no sense this side of heaven, then you know how difficult, confusing, and hurtful these words are to hear in the moment. Since this has happened to me, I don’t want to say something similar to others, so instead, I often find myself looking at them through tears pooling in my eyes and saying very few words, which can make it really awkward -ha! But recently, I heard an amazing sermon by Katherine Wolf, who has been through her own set of difficulties. In the sermon, when talking about people saying “it’s all in God’s plan” during very difficult times, she made the point that she believes, “There is a ministry of tears just as there is a ministry of truth.” In other words, there is a time when tears serve others better than blurting out a statement of truth (like during difficult times). Amen, sister! Finally, someone said it out loud! Those words were like balm to my soul! I feel like I can be done with this post now because this is such a powerful healing point for those of us who have been the recipient of hurtful words. But I can’t stop there because it made me think of something else that there is a time for… But first, If I, or anyone you know, has said something very hurtful to you while you’re in the middle of pain, forgive us. It came from a good place.
When I’m grieving, words usually don’t comfort. What I really want is someone to just hug me and cry with me. I believe that is showing God’s love because I believe that is what God wants to do in that moment. He wants to hug me, rock me and cry with me. It saddens Him to see His children sad. I try to not let the hurtful words someone has said during my pain take me down and make me lose hope. That’s the worst (I’ve been there). Now, I try to remind myself, in the painful times of life (during the next one, y’all may have to remind me of this post), that this too shall pass. This is a season of life (albeit, painful), and even if I can’t feel it in that exact moment, God IS there. He promises to be with us always. He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). I don’t know what season you are in right now, but just as there is a time for truth and tears, there is also a time for mourning and grieving. When I’m in the middle of a difficult season and I can’t see the forest for the trees, this verse really helps:
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Just as there are times of overwhelming pain, there will be times of healing, laughing, dancing, mending and peace ahead! Amen! (Sigh of relief!) Hold On, Pain Ends – H.O.P.E. This, I know to be true. Here’s a big hug from me to you! I hope you can feel it.
Some other helpful resources: Kathrine Wolf Quotes, Hope Heals by Katherine Wolf, For Those of Us Who Can’t Just “Get Over It”